How to Deal with Divorce as a Man in Milwaukee
Divorce is an emotional roller coaster for everyone who is going through it. In fact, divorce is the second most stressful event that you will experience in your life, right behind the death of a family member. We tie the knot expecting to spend our entire life with the person who we consider our soulmate, we buy a house together, maybe even start a family. And then, something happens and the divorce papers are filed. This isn’t the outcome anyone anticipates. But, you are not alone.
General divorce statistics in the US state that 40 to 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. This means that almost every second person who married will eventually end that marriage. At the same time, those who have been divorced once are much more likely to divorce again, as 60% of second marriages end in divorce! The good news is that in the latest years, the divorce rate in the US is declining.
Divorce in the age of Coronavirus
Coronavirus pandemic has had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives. In fact, if we look at how much the divorce rate in China has risen, it seems like COVID-19 wants to claim another victim… Your marriage.
Financial stress combined with 24/7 lock down is pushing us to our boundaries. People aren’t willing to talk and are on the edge of their patience limits. This has lead to increase in divorce worldwide. At the same time, the divorce process has been highly impacted by the change in the work environment. However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t divorce during the lock down.
Dealing with emotions during divorce
Despite what many people may think, men experience an emotional roller coaster just the same as women. No matter who you are, divorce is extremely stressful and emotional. It can turn your whole life upside down. Even if your relationship has turned sour, the split is still extremely painful because it represents the loss, not just of a partner, but of all future plans you might have had. When a relationship ends, people experience a feeling that is similar to grief after losing a loved one.
Recovering from divorce can be a tough process. It’s important to constantly tell yourself that you will get through this and that you can start anew. The most important thing is to allow the grieving process to pass and to feel all these negative and sad emotions that you are having. The pain won’t last forever, no matter how strong it is. If you hold it in, everything will be worse and last longer.
If you are unsure about the divorce and are still having second thoughts, mediation might be the right choice for you. Mediation is a way of making a settlement and working things out before going to court. The mediation process has many advantages compared to regular divorce. It’s much less expensive and it has a higher success rate when it comes to reaching an agreements. At the same time, it’s confidential and you don’t have to find solutions that rely solely on legal principles.
The mediation process is a great way to find a solution for the problems in your marriage, while at the same time improving the communication between you and your spouse. You don’t need a lawyer to start the process – but you can hire one, if you prefer to keep everything official. The only thing that is required is that both sides are ready to have a meaningful discussion. This can help you to divorce without unnecessary expenses, while helping you understand your wife’s needs. Even if your marriage wasn’t the best, you can still end it without any bad blood between the two of you.
What challenges do men face during a divorce?
Even though most people might say we live in a ‘man’s world’, statistics show that divorces tend to end in a wife’s favor. From custody battles to ruined public image, men often face obstacles that people rarely talk about. What are some of the biggest troubles men have when the marriage is about to end?
As we’ve already mentioned, men as well experience a powerful sense of loss, even failure, after a marriage end. The problem is that most men don’t know who to talk to and where to go when their emotions become too much to handle. Divorce might even be the first time a man feels this way, which just adds to the overall confusion. Talking to a therapist or a mental health professional is extremely important. Also, a good friend circle can help people cope with this terrible situation.
Why Do Men Have To Pay Alimony?
Most men are taught that, if a divorce happens, it is their responsibility to pay extremely high unreasonable alimony to their spouse, so they often don’t even look at the amount they are agreeing on. This is why you must always have a good attorney on your side who can help you make rational decisions that are best for you. At the same time, not every divorce has to end with alimony. In fact, this happens to a fairly small percentage of divorces, so unless you really think you morally or financially have to, don’t agree on it voluntarily. Find out more about divorce in Wisconsin by clicking here.
False Accusations During Divorce
Although this doesn’t happen often, it’s still a scenario that devastates a divorce case and resolving it can last for years! Some women are ready to lie and claim their former spouse was abusive to them so they can win their case – whether it is higher alimony, child custody or out of some other reason. Even if there is no proof of the abuse, if you don’t present your case the right way, you may end up damaged in the end. If you suspect that your spouse will go this far, you should talk to your lawyer about your worries so you can be prepared on time.
What To Do If There Is a Child Involved?
Even if your role as a spouse has ended, your role as a parent still remains. This has to be remembered. Every parent has the legal rights to know about their child’s medical records and information about the school. However, the court will determine who has the custody over the child. Custody means that the court is making the choice who will have the rights to make major legal decisions for the child, such as school choice, medical care and religion. There is a joint custody, when both parents have that rights and neither is superior, and a sole custody, when only one parent can make these decisions.
Often, children in the divorce cases are represented by guardians ad litem – attorney who specializes on representing children. Guardians ad litem will meet with the children they are representing and through asking them questions will try to see which parent is a better fit for a child’s needs.
In the US, mothers are awarded custody in up to 88% of divorce cases. This means that men have a disadvantage, even though it’s proven that both genders can be equally good parents. This decision has some background, though, as women on average tend to spend more time with their children. The problem arises if the woman decides to disallow father to see their child after a divorce. This can further push men into depression, as it can make them distant from their kids. The emotional distress that happens after you lose custody of your child is often more devastating than the divorce itself.
This is why you should always do your best to spend as much time with your child as you can. Explain to them that you love them and that, even though you’re not around much longer, you are still their father and that it’s not their fault. No matter what the state of the relationship between you and your former spouse is, don’t try to bash them in front of the children and don’t use kids as pawns. Children have to know that they still have stability and security and that their father loves them no matter who they spend their time with.
Why Is Child Support So Unfair?
Paying a child support is an obligation every non-custodial parent has. The custodial parent is responsible for day-to-day child care, while the other one helps by providing finances. On itself, child support isn’t a cause of concern. However, on rare cases, the custodial parent (who, according to the above statistics, is usually women) will leave the child in the care of their former spouse without notifying the court. This means that the non-custodial parent, usually the father, now will have to care of the child, while still paying money to their former spouse who is left without responsibilities.
This case rarely happens, and it’s even more rarely talked about. When mother decides to ‘give’ the child to the father, the dad will usually keep paying child support out of fear that the child will be once again taken away from them. You should know that you are not legally bound to pay child support if you are being given the custody.
Should I sell my house after divorce?
Another asset that former spouses must agree on is their house and their living space. Divorce is an expensive process for both parties and the usual outcome is that both partners have to find a new place to live in – with the tighter budget.
The decision to sell their old property is up to both partners, but if you decide to sell it, you can sell it both before or after divorce. Maybe you need money for lawyers or taxes. This is a fine reason to sell your house before the divorce if finalized, as long as you can agree on share of profits – unless only one of you is the legal owner. When you decide to sell your house, the easiest option is to sell your house for cash. This can be done when you sell your house to a direct buyer, such as Sparks Property Investors LLC. Selling with real estate agents can take months and holding a house is an expensive process. We can cash your house as is and we can close on your terms. Of course, there are no obligations and if the offer isn’t to your liking, you can always refuse it. We are doing all we can to help you deal with this stressful situation and to give you the option to avoid unnecessary expenses. You deserve to relax as much as possible during this terrible life situation.
Disclosure: Everything on this page is our own personal opinion and in no way should be considered as a legal counsel.