How to Deal with Divorce as a Woman in Milwaukee
Divorce is an emotional roller coaster for everyone who is going through it. In fact, divorce is the second most stressful event that you will experience in your life, right behind the death of a family member. We tie the knot expecting to spend our entire life with the person who we consider our prince on the white horse, we buy a house together, maybe even start a family. And then, something happens and the divorce papers are filled. This isn’t the outcome anyone anticipates. But, you are not alone.
General divorce statistics in the US state that 40 to 50% of marriages in the US end in divorce. This means that almost every second person who married will eventually end that marriage. At the same time, those who have been divorced once are much more likely to divorce again, as 60% of second marriages end in divorce! The good news is that in the latest years, the divorce rate in the US is declining.
Divorce in the age of Coronavirus
Coronavirus pandemic has had an impact on almost every aspect of our lives. In fact, if we look at how much the divorce rate in China has risen, it seems like COVID-19 wants to claim another victim… Your marriage.
Financial stress combined with 24/7 lock down is pushing us to our boundaries. People aren’t willing to talk and are on the edge of their patience limits. This has lead to increase in divorce worldwide. At the same time, the divorce process has been highly impacted by the change in the work environment. However, this doesn’t mean that you can’t divorce during the lock down.
Dealing with emotions during divorce
No matter the reason behind it, divorce is extremely stressful and emotional. It can turn your whole life upside down. Even if your relationship has turned sour, the split is still extremely painful because it represents the loss, not just of a partner, but of all future plans you might have had. When a relationship ends, people experience a feeling that is similar to grief after losing a loved one.
Divorce will bring a woman to a new, unknown territory. Everything is disrupted and changed: your routine, your relationships with extended family, even your identity to a certain point. At the same time, your future becomes uncertain. What will your life look like now? Will you find someone else or will you end up completely alone? Often times, these situations sound worse than the thought of remaining in a bad relationship.
Recovering from divorce can be a tough process. It’s important to constantly tell yourself that you will get through this and that you can start anew. The most important thing is to allow the grieving process to pass and to feel all these negative and sad emotions that you are having. The pain won’t last forever, no matter how strong it is. If you hold it in, everything will be worse and last longer.
If you are unsure about the divorce and are still having second thoughts, mediation might be the right choice for you. Mediation is a way of making a settlement and working things out before going to court. The mediation process has many advantages compared to regular divorce. It’s much less expensive and it has a higher success rate when it comes to reaching an agreements. At the same time, it’s confidential and you don’t have to find solutions that rely solely on legal principles.
The mediation process is a great way to find a solution for the problems in your marriage, while at the same time improving the communication between you and your spouse. You don’t need a lawyer to start the process – but you can hire one, if you prefer to keep everything official. The only thing that is required is that both sides are ready to have a meaningful discussion. This can help you to divorce without unnecessary expenses, while helping you understand your husband’s needs. Even if your marriage wasn’t the best, you can still end it without any bad blood between the two of you.
What challenges do women face during a divorce?
Statistics show that divorces tend to end in a wife’s favor. However, divorce is much more complicated for women than it may seem at the first glance. What are some of the biggest obstacles women face when the marriage is about to end?
How to Deal with Finances?
Money is the primary women’s worry when it comes to divorce. The reasons for this are many. London School of Economics conducted a research that showed that women who worked during their marriage have experienced a decline of 20% in their income after their divorce. On the other side, men have experienced a rise of 30% or even more! The poverty rate for divorced women is 27%, three times bigger than the rate for men.
This doesn’t mean you can’t take control over the situation. Next to saving money, there are certain steps you can do to protect yourself financially. First thing you should do is to gather up any important paperwork that can be the proof of your earnings, such as tax returns and bank statements. If you’re not on too good terms with your spouse, you should put some money into your personal account. This will help you to start the divorce process, but keep in mind that at certain point during the proceedings you will have to tell your spouse about it.
Another thing you can do is to improve your credit score. After the divorce, your credit score is likely to drop, so be prepared. Apply for your own credit card and make a few purchases that you can pay off in time. Also, a good precaution is to close all joint credit cards – but be sure that you have talked to your attorney before that.
After the divorce is finalized, you must get used to having just one income, so your budget has to change. Cover your own health insurance and hire an accountant so you can plan and manage your tax expenses.
What to do if there is a child involved?
Even if your role as a spouse has ended, your role as a parent still remains. This has to be remembered. Every parent has the legal rights to know about their child’s medical records and information about the school. However, the court will determine who has the custody over the child. Custody means that the court is making the choice who will have the rights to make major legal decisions for the child, such as school choice, medical care and religion. There is a joint custody, when both parents have that rights and neither is superior, and a sole custody, when only one parent can make these decisions.
Often, children in the divorce cases are represented by guardians ad litem – attorney who specializes on representing children. Guardians ad litem will meet with the children they are representing and through asking them questions will try to see which parent is a better fit for a child’s needs.
In the US, mothers are awarded custody in up to 88% of divorce cases, so this shouldn’t worry you too much. However, in order to look after your kids you should also look after yourself. If you are having emotional struggles, go speak to a therapist or a local Milwaukee divorce group. Go through your budget carefully so you can make sure you have enough finances. Keep your social connections alive as friends are the best emotional support you can find.
It’s important to understand that this is a hard time for your kid(s) as well. If they are young, they don’t understand that this is the best thing for everyone in the long run. You should speak to their teacher, maybe even arrange for them to see a children therapist. But the most important thing you can do is to talk to your child and show them that you understand their feelings and that you are here to help and to love them.
Should I sell my house after divorce?
Another asset that former spouses must agree on is their house and their living space. Even though the movies usually show women walking away with the house and wealth, but this is far from reality. Divorce is an expensive process for both parties and the usual outcome is that both partners have to find a new place to live in – with the tighter budget.
The decision to sell their old property is up to both partners, but if you decide to sell it, you can sell it both before or after divorce. Maybe you need money for lawyers or taxes. This is a fine reason to sell your house before the divorce if finalized, as long as you can agree on share of profits – unless only one of you is the legal owner. When you decide to sell your house, the easiest option is to sell your house for cash. This can be done when you sell your house to a direct buyer, such as Sparks Property Investors LLC. Selling with real estate agents can take months and holding a house is an expensive process. We can cash your house as is and we can close on your terms. Of course, there are no obligations and if the offer isn’t to your liking, you can always refuse it. We are doing all we can to help you deal with this stressful situation and to give you the option to avoid unnecessary expenses. You deserve to relax as much as possible during this terrible life situation.
Disclosure: Everything on this page is our own personal opinion and in no way should be considered as a legal counsel.
If you are looking to sell your house after divorce quickly and stress-free, you can contact us to get an all cash offer for your property. Fill out the form below or call us at (262) 288-0580.